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Anyone can be a scientist — if they are willing to work hard. An adult may tell them outright that science or math is not for them.

Often, however, the message will be more Some teacher, parent or role model may say or do something to make a child think that they aren’t — and cannot be — good at science, technology, engineering or math (STEM).

This might at first seem like it doesn’t make sense, notes Elizabeth Gunderson.

She studies developmental psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia, Penn. Most studies, she observes, suggest that “the more parents help their kids with their homework, the worse kids do.”In fact, students who receive help with homework don’t get the opportunity “to figure [things] out themselves,” she notes.

If a mom isn’t good at math, for instance, her daughter may recognize this.